Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
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Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
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I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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