This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He did a backflip because drugs
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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