Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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