Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
