Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My feet surprised me
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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