my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Someone came in the potted fern
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
