i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
