he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
