Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
