Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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