Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
should my penis look like a turkey
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
