just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
