He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
