there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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