he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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