I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
