when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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