dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
