Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
