At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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