I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
