My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
