I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
