you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
