I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
