it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
