Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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