She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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