There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
