I wish my penis had an off switch
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
