One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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