coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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