it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
