take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
