You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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