i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
