Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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