I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
