dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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