We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
