This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
