Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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