i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
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I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
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I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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