sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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