I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
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i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
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Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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