I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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