Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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