i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
