i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
