Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
