walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
