I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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