Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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