even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
