I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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