she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
