I want to have your abortion
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
