Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
