i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
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I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
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i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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