Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize