Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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