I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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