Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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